great expectations

because she was treated in a particularly recurring way for a very long time, she forgot what it ever meant to have an opinion of her own – to experience from her surroundings – to make meaning and sift the right and wrong from the events that were marking her journey through this life and role-play. so often and so unrelenting was her suffering she eventually believed it to be true. mind games, of sorts. the sharp pain became dull thudding after a few years and a few more years later that pain became a part of her life. she forgot about it – it was second nature, probably even first nature. the daughter-in-law was now the dame of the house, holding the keys – to much more than the family vault. she was on her way to become a mother-in-law – a spitting image of her own mother-in-law. she would be soon at the familial battlefield to quell a rebellion that she had started long ago and given up recently by embracing the ways of the enemy. the rerun will soon begin.

when the mother-in-law behaves in the manner that she does with the daughter-in-law, she is beyond help. after years of conditioning that is the only way she knows. woman is woman’s worst enemy? yes, but a generalization to say the least, and there are enough soaps and movies to document this theory (if you can call it that). the dynamics of this war for supremacy are well known and experienced. times change, people’s attitudes change too – somehow their belief systems haven’t. but the vicious circle is being broken – one small bit at a time. there are ways out in these modern emancipated times – separate out – break the joint family tradition. these are pain killers of sorts; they aren’t the medicine. the only thing you do is hate long-distance.

and the struggle to match expectations continues – though there is more freedom than before to weigh those expectations, sift through, and become your own person. become a woman rather than a daughter-in-law, a mother or a wife and unwittingly contribute to a silent and slow social change that allows us to become a person – beyond role-playing.

~he said