by respect or by fear

one reason why i appreciate what blanknoiseproject is doing, is that, unlike corporate sexual harassment incidents, it is raising awareness about an issue. it is participative. asking, eliciting. when more people know about how eve teasing affects women, there may be some awareness and it may help the cause that bnp has initiated. the next step, ideally, would be towards a concept of respect – rather than fear – like the fear of sexual harassment in the workplace. highly over-rated because of the million dollar suits – i doubt if the issue has gained any respect. the fear exists not for a wrongdoing – but for fear of mistaken identity, or action perhaps. if at all, it has distanced the men and the women in the workplace – to good effect some may say.

in eleven minutes paulo coelho makes an interesting statement:

“…who were all afraid of being arrested for ‘sexual harassment’ – a concept invented to make women everywhere feel worse about themselves.”

the recent bnp campaign against eve-teasing – what it calls street sexual harassment is an interesting initiative to say the least. at least there is awareness being built what eve-teasing means to the eves and how the adams respond and react. there is, probably (and hopefully) more to it, however.

on a very long term – but much lesser than it took the dinosaurs to extinct themselves – i believe that if fear is the only tool of managing the abuse, then the tables will only turn, a few years from now we will be fighting adam teasing. thanks to a few ‘angry women’, sorry amitabh for corrupting your title. unless man is able to respect a woman for being a woman (and the fact that she is everything else later), i don’t see any kind of sexual harassment going away. one kind goes; another will spawn. fear may stop that accidental brush of a hand and that lewd remark from the local train going south. that’s misdirected fear. fear of prosecution by the world and persecution by the women. it doesn’t affect the mind set. can you change the constituent of a man’s mind or control it just by fear? if yes, how? if not, what is the fight against?

where does this respect come from? what makes man respect a woman, any woman, on the street – and not judge her by her clothes, color, size, skin, walk, gait, smile or whatever? is it the way they see their fathers and brothers treat their mothers and sisters? i saw a few posts (by women) about castration, death sentences, and the types. fair enough. the anger is well-directed. but not towards the real purpose; castrate every organism that has a trace of testosterone, yet you may not be able to change how they think. deep down, would women be able to live with that? i don’t know. if eyes speak volumes, then does the limpness make you feel secure, safe and respected? do eyes and thoughts do more damage than that apparently unintentional intentional brush of a hand? my personal ethos and values not withstanding, do i need to run scared of lifting a hand to wipe the sweat off my brow, lest it might brush against your backside? will you know the difference?

~he said